I spend a disproportionate number of my waking hours thinking about hypothetical situations. What would it have been like to be at Pizarro’s conquest of Peru? If the Incans had just one machine gun with unlimited ammunition would they have won? Could one modern day fighter jet have destroyed all the other planes during World War II? Damn, that would have been a pretty sick battle. I wonder what a T-Rex steak would have tasted like. Oh snap! I forgot to take the exit I was supposed to get off at! Now I’m going to be late!
What excites me the most though, is thinking about what superpower I’d like to have the most. What would I do with my power? Did I choose the right one? On a practical level, why would this be a terrible superpower to have? I think about this so often that I think it’s worth collecting and organizing my thoughts. Realistically, no one is going to read this, but it will feel good writing all this down. So for each superpower, I’m including the pop-culture entity that I got the power from, my own interpretation of the exact parameters of the power, why I might not actually want the power, and what I’d probably end up doing with it.
Superman Returns was a good movie, I don’t care what anyone says.
Flying is pretty self-explanatory, but I think the key variable about this superpower is how fast I’d be able to fly. Would I fly like Voldemort? He probably flies as fast as a medium speed bird like a seagull or something.
You can fly, you silly bird! Don’t mock us bipeds.
Would I fly as fast as those teenagers in the movie Chronicle? They flew reasonably fast if I recall correctly, maybe like a hawk or almost as fast as a commercial airplane. Would I fly as fast as Superman? He’s as fast as a speeding bullet (at the very least) and in the movies I think he’s way, way faster. He’s probably fast enough to fly from San Francisco to New York in a matter of minutes I’m guessing. For the purposes of this exercise, let’s assume we’re talking about the middle speed.
If I could fly, does that mean I’d have to wear warm/winter clothes all the time? At the speed I’d be going and with all the air resistance, I’m guessing it’d get pretty cold. Or I could pull the double win and move to southern California and be able to avoid the number one downside of living there (traffic) and also be able to wear whatever I want as I fly around in the warm air. Unfortunately I don’t think flying would allow me to fight crime that well. I’d still be susceptible to bullets and missiles and any other surface to air weapons that criminals could employ to take me down. Any heat seeking missile would be the end of me at the speeds I’d be flying. I’d probably have to get a
cool effective mask so that the government doesn’t find out about my flying otherwise they’d detain me and perform unspeakable tests and experiments on me. Once I got used to flying I’d probably be pretty upset at having to walk anywhere.
This is definitely the power I daydream about the most. Anytime I’m sitting in traffic I wish I could fly. Every now and then when I see a bird I wish I could fly. If I could fly I’d definitely ditch my car and fly around places. I don’t know if I’d fight any crime or anything, but my commute would be a lot more fun. I’d win every talent contest ever. I’d have the most irresistible trick to show to first dates. I could devise a harness for a second person and go on the coolest road trips (would they still be road trips?) and travel a ton. I would definitely buy or make a really sweet costume with a mask and a cape. I’d have to get really good at taking the mask off and putting it on really quickly. Overall I think it’d be an amazing power to have and one that I’d enjoy using, even though the things I would end up doing with the power would probably be inconsequential.
I find it distressing that one of my life philosophies is printed on a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce. Going to Taco Bell at 11 PM on a weekday is equally distressing.
Naughty girls get spanked.
screen shot from short film I’m currently finishing and I’ll post it here when I’m done.
Now playing fourth outfielder for the Giants, yours truly #attpark #playball #sfgiants #goldglove #nofilter (at AT&T Park)
Our box score reads a double and two singles. @prjeung @chris_james @nrwong #sfgiants #takemeouttotheballgame #attpark (at AT&T Park)